Wednesday, October 29, 2008
REDEMPTION
That stone must be quite heavy –
That boulder on your back –
A stumbling block so hefty
It must twist – like a rack.
I don’t know how you bear it –
I’d help you if I could –
I also have a burden –
This solid log of wood.
Your stone could be a Corner –
My beam become a Frame –
We could consecrate them to
The House that bears His Name.
That Cornerstone of honor –
That Doorway to the well
Will make our woes seem lighter
Than clumsy words can tell.
(28 October 2008, Pleasant Grove)
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3 comments:
the line about the heart attack ... didn't seem to fit, tone wise, when i read it. we talk about 'that nearly gave me a heart attack' so lightly, so flippantly, that i would try a different phrase or image to keep the depth of the rest of the poem. what do you think?
oh and did you see my form poems that i posted... ?
I totally agree about the heart attack line, but it says what I want to say for now, until I find a better rime and reason. I will go look at your poems.
I have revised the poem. I hope that you will like it better now.
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